Reality bites: Leicester Caribbean Away

Reality really is in in the eye of the beholder. Second game into this new season as Countesthorpe 3rds (Niffy!), Mark our hard working Capitan has processed 3456 WhatsApp messages, had a number of phone calls and not attended selection meetings to get 11 blokes onto the unusually dry outfield at Caribbean’s home ground.

This was a changed team from the previous week due to a number of absences listed here in order of credibility; Simon and Richard (playing for the 2nds don't you know), Wayne and Jack (Running the Booze Bus), Matt (wife’s birthday) and Dave (puff pastry making for a Bake Off). NB: Dave went with mini scones with olives, parmesan and sun blushed tomatoes.

So with an eager team of compadres we set out to do battle for bragging rites for the epoch making return fixture in September. Mark won the toss and when I arrived was still deciding what to do. It was clear that reality said we should bowl first which everyone agreed to so we did. However it was equally clear that everyone disagreed with this 7 hours later.

Mark and Jordan opened the bowling and the big lad with much intent belted his second ball very hard for four, and I have to say rather too close to me for my liking. Mark got one to bounce later in the over and he nicked off to a big cut shot and walked. The umpire said he didn't hear a thing. This was repeated an over or so later when the next batsman’s flourish ended up in Meggo’s gloves and he too walked off with the Ump non the wiser. When Mark bowled the next guy leg stump he had them three down for 20 odd on his own and we had visions of a low total. Mark was to prove to be our most incisive bowler of the day. However their opening bat Yaya who is a lovely man and not the kind to give his wicket away – or play too many shots – settled in a with the occasional glide through second slip/ third man. By this time I was bowling at him and it brought back memories of bowling at him for the past 20 years and not much happening. They played carefully at first going at 3 an over and slowly began to expand their range of shots. Neil and I kept it tight for a while which was probably because the batsmen where slowing coming to the conclusion that our combined ages really was 102 years.

As the game wore on they became accustomed to the pitch and more adventurous and the bespectacled No.5 started to use his big back lift to belt the ball into the school next door. It was nip and tuck until about the 30 over when they took hold of the game scoring quickly. Mark returned to slice through their intent on his way to 6 wickets but they got away from us towards the end finishing with a total of 202. Looking at our batting I thought they had just about enough by 100 runs or so. I was a little optimistic there.

Fleets opened but was back soon and we lost other early wickets as they bowled well. After ten overs I was in the middle umpiring just in time to see Pete bowled first ball and give Meggo not out to the hat-trick ball that was (just) sliding off down the leg side. Due to further wickets falling Mark and I only umpired for a further two overs before going off to pad up. Keith and Jordan batted serenely for what seemed like ages trying to keep the runs scored in front of the overs bowled. But there was late drama to come. Jordan out, me in, phaffing about missing everything except the wide one I feathered to the keeper and in line with their sportsmanship I walked. Pete as the umpire didn't hear a thing. Mark joined Keith as we crept into the 40th overs and towards the magical team total of 50. Keith playing the sharp bouncers in the gloom with aplomb and Mark leaving with a flourish. Then with five balls to go Pete triggers out the Skipper to what he saw was a delivery cannoning into middle stump that Mark says nearly broke his bat in two as it careered off down the leg side (he never mentioned it or anything). That notwithstanding Neil trudged out as the brave No.11 and saw off the last four balls with everyone in the ground shouting, hollering and biting their nails. A fitting end in the watery sunshine despite the disparity in the scores. We weren't really sure we salvaged anything but it was a good game played in an excellent spirt. An agenda set in no small part by Caribbean’s themselves.

With so many players out, especially from the top six this reality check may indicate an aspiration for mid-table security. The games to come will prove whether this needs revising or not.

Report by M.Coulson